


"Are you testing me?"

by Lavender_and_Vanilla



Series: Mystrade Monday Part 2: Flash Fiction [32]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, Domestic dust up, Don't Post To Another Site, Established Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade, Getting to Know Each Other, Happy Ending, M/M, Mini break almost gone wrong, Mystrade Monday Prompts, There's a reason it's called a privy, mystrade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:22:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29915460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavender_and_Vanilla/pseuds/Lavender_and_Vanilla
Summary: Greg thinks he's found the perfect AirBnB for their mini break.
Relationships: Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade, Mycroft Holmes/Lestrade
Series: Mystrade Monday Part 2: Flash Fiction [32]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1862299
Comments: 12
Kudos: 51





	"Are you testing me?"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Vulpesmellifera](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vulpesmellifera/gifts), [Ewebie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ewebie/gifts), [AnneCumberbatch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnneCumberbatch/gifts).



> Born from the twitter discussion of what Mycroft would think of a particular house. You may enjoy the fic without seeing the pictures, but I expect that your appreciation of the story would be enhanced if you took a look. 
> 
> https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1596-Penn-Forest-Ln-Stroudsburg-PA-18360/9810953_zpid/

“This is going to be a great weekend,” Greg sighed as they drove down the country lane. “We can go for long walks, breathe fresh air, and enjoy each other’s company with no interruptions.”

Mycroft hummed noncommittally. He wasn’t as sure as Greg about the weekend. He’d never been the outdoors type, but he was willing to give it a try. Particularly since Greg promised him the AirBnB they’d let was modern and as Greg put it, “Rustic posh”.

Greg glanced over at Mycroft and gave his partner’s knee a quick pat. “We’ll have fun and make some memories,” he said reassuringly. He recognized Mycroft was going outside of his comfort zone a bit with this mini break in the woods. He looked back to the road. “Oh, there’s our turn.” He directed the car down the wooded drive.

It was a good quarter of a mile off the main road before the house came into view. It appeared to be a small rustic appearing cabin. Mycroft had to admit it was very private and the surrounding woods were lush and dense.

Greg chattered happily as they unloaded their bags and a box of provisions for the weekend. “I know it looks small. But the pictures on the website of the views were amazing. I can’t wait for you to see.”

“I’m sure it’s lovely,” Mycroft said as he picked up their carry-alls.

Greg keyed in the entry code and carried in the box of groceries. Mycroft trailed behind him. “Wow,” Greg breathed as he moved forward into the home. He set the box on the table in the kitchen area and moved further into the great room gazing out the enormous windows.

Mycroft felt a rush of gratitude for the thick woods surrounding them. There were absolutely no curtains or window coverings at all. He gazed around the space noting the cathedral ceiling of the great room with windows extending 2 1/2 stories. In addition to the windows, large sky lights were set in the ceiling. “We won’t lack for natural light,” he observed. He hoped they wouldn’t get over-warm with all the sunlight beating into the space.

Greg turned around admiring the home. When he stopped to look at Mycroft his eyes were filled with delight. “I’ll get the food put away, and then we can go for a walk, yeah?”

“Certainly,” Mycroft agreed. He noted a staircase off to the left and deduced that was the way to the master bedroom. “I’ll take our bags to the bedroom.”

Mycroft headed up the narrow stairway to what turned out to be a large open loft space spanning the entire width of the house. He scanned the room and everywhere he looked there was a fresh horror.

The furniture was positively Lilliputian, low to the ground and tucked up under the eaves. The bed was wide but again very low to the ground. Mycroft feared for his head and his knees.

The loft was half the length of the main floor below and the views out the front windows were easily visible. Too easily visible in his mind. There was no wall or railing preventing one from slipping over the edge of the loft to the hardwood floor below. Mycroft set the bags down and walked a little closer to the edge to peer down. A wave of vertigo hit him and he scrambled back bumping his head against the sloping ceiling. “Ow!”

“You alright, love?” Greg called up.

“Yes, just hit my head,” Mycroft called back. “Ceilings are sloped up here.” He decided he would spend very little time up here, if he could manage it.

“Best stay more towards the middle of the room then,” Greg chuckled.

He sounded as if he was in the same room, Mycroft mused. In fact they were in the same room Mycroft realized, as he eyed the edge of the loft.He looked away before he got dizzy again and noted a bathtub? Surely not. And then he saw it. “No,” he breathed. “No.”

“My? Is everything okay?”

“Absolutely not,” he said more loudly. “This is utterly unacceptable.”

“What’s unacceptable?” Greg asked from directly behind Mycroft.

“Ahh!” Mycroft jumped and whacked his head on the sloped ceiling. “Ow!”

“Sorry, I startled you…” Greg trailed off as he looked around the space. “Oh my…”

“‘Oh my’ is right. Can you believe this?”

“I’m stunned.”

“Appalled was more my reaction.”

Greg looked at Mycroft confused. “Appalled? Why?”

“Are you testing me?” Mycroft stared at Greg. “That is the only explanation that I can come up with for dragging me out into the woods to stay in an unhygienic death trap.”

“Wait, we can’t be talking about the same thing. I was talking about the view from up here.” Greg gestured toward the windows and the vista beyond.

“Yes, yes,” Mycroft snapped. “The view is spectacular, but how could you not notice the lack of railing, or the bath sitting inches from the edge? Or worse, the… the… privy standing there, in the open!” Mycroft sputtered, as he pointed at each flaw. “It’s situated mere feet from the bed where we’re to sleep this evening.”

Greg finally took in the rest of the room. “Oh! Well… that’s… different.”

“I categorically refuse to stay here unless you find me a bed that is not sitting at the edge of a cliff, and a toilet that is located in its own room, as it should be.” Mycroft picked up his carry-all and swept down the stairs, narrowly managing not to hit his head a third time.

Greg grabbed his bag and hurried after him. “It’s supposed to be a two bedroom, two bath,” he called after Mycroft.

* * *

“More wine, love?” Greg offered the last of the bottle they had started during their meal.

“Please.” Mycroft held out his glass and Greg topped it up.

Greg settled back on the sofa and Mycroft leaned against him. “Glad you decided to stay?”

“Mm,” Mycroft hummed. “It’s been a delightful evening. The sunset was incredible. Thank you for persisting in exploring the rest of the house.”

“This room is a cozier space, that’s for sure,” Greg acknowledged.The lowest level of the home, like the rest of the building, had large windows looking out over the hills and the woods and, in addition, access to a wide, wooden deck. It also had a wood-burning stove, a comfortable couch, a well stocked bookshelf, and, most importantly, a more private and segregated lavatory. “You don’t mind the bed is smaller?” Greg asked.

“No, not at all,” Mycroft reassured Greg. “Some intimate spaces are meant to be closely shared with the ones you love.”

**Author's Note:**

> I took the liberty of adding a bed to the lower level and rearranging the furniture for story purposes. I assume that was supposed to be the second bedroom, since that's where the second bath was.


End file.
